Have you ever found yourself looking for a distraction instead of focusing on an important project or updating your resume? Maybe you're watching yet another episode of your favorite series or endlessly scrolling through social media?
Why do we do this? When there is no rational reason to do so?
What if your procrastination habits, addictions, and resistances were not flaws but valuable clues? Clues to a crucial investigation into what you really want in life. Imagine for a moment that these behaviors are not signs of weakness but hidden messages from your subconscious, trying to guide you toward something deeper and more meaningful.
Stay with me because what you are about to discover could transform your perception of your resistance.
What is resistance?
Steven Pressfield, author of "The War of Art," describes resistance brilliantly as an internal force that opposes any creative action or aspiration for self-improvement. This force manifests in various ways:
Procrastination: Postponing an important project under the pretext of cleaning the house or responding to emails first.
Fear of failure: Hesitating to start a business due to fear of not succeeding.
Self-sabotage: Undermining your chances of success, for example, by arriving late to an important meeting.
Rationalization: Convincing yourself that it’s not the right time to start an important project, believing you'll have "more time later."
Addiction: Using compulsive habits as an excuse to avoid action and not feel unpleasant emotions.
These behaviors are ways to hold ourselves back, unconscious reactions to the fear of the unknown or change.
We have all felt this force at one time or another. Whether it's hesitating to act on an idea that excites you or finding excuses to avoid a task or important choice, these behaviors often reflect deeper fears and internal conflict.
What are the long-term consequences of resistance?
When you accumulate these tendencies (beyond the inevitable consequences of certain addictions), you risk developing what Pressfield calls a "shadow career"—a career that isn't truly yours. It’s a career where you might succeed, perhaps brilliantly, but it primarily feeds your ego, making it difficult to leave this comfort zone to pursue what truly matters to you.
A brilliant executive recently shared his struggles with me. Although valued and sought after in his current position, he deeply desires to embark on an innovative entrepreneurial project. Yet, he's 'waiting for the right moment' to move forward, thus postponing his true aspirations. This hesitation is not merely a matter of timing; it's a manifestation of the resistance that keeps him in a career that does not reflect his deepest desires.
The consequences of resistance are not limited to unrealized careers. They can manifest in our relationships, personal goals, and overall well-being.
What does resistance hide?
If you delve deep into resistance, you will most likely find a central fear: becoming yourself and no longer being part of the tribe (which, according to Pressfield, does not really exist anyway).
Compromising with oneself is the hallmark of most people. As addiction specialist Dr. Gabor Maté says, "We have two basic needs upon arriving on this planet: to be ourselves and to be in connection, in attachment." As children, we compromise with ourselves in the name of the need for connection. The problem is that these compromises follow us throughout our lives, even when these connections are no longer necessary.
The good news in all this?
These resistances hide a more profound truth: you aspire to "more." You are not a procrastinator. You aren't lacking in talent. You aren't an addict. You aren't lazy. You aren't crazy. You aren't shy. These are just symbolic labels of your resistance. You are simply "seeking more": more authenticity, meaning, and probably more satisfaction.
What if your resistance, addictions, and fears are actually invitations to explore? To allow that deep inner voice to guide you towards what is essential for you. What is the deep impulse that you are stifling?
How to overcome your resistance - the traditional method
Psychology often invites us to confront our resistance with motivation and positive reinforcement techniques. For example, psychologist Carol Dweck, known for her research on the "growth mindset," advocates willpower and perseverance to overcome challenges. While this approach is entirely valid, you have surely noticed how uncomfortable it is, how energy-consuming it is, and how it creates massive friction between two parts of you: the one that wants and the one that doesn't.
This is the confrontation between the conscious and the unconscious. And let's be clear: the unconscious always wins.
How to overcome your resistances - the new approaches
Instead of combating your resistance, consider using it as a tool to better understand yourself and to align your conscious and unconscious minds. Here are three simple steps to start
Identify the resistance strategy: Become aware of how you are preventing yourself from progressing. For example, note each time you procrastinate and try to understand the fear or belief behind this action. What is it you don't want to confront yourself with?
Realize and feel: Allow yourself to experience these strong emotions without repressing them, ideally with support, and discover that they cannot overwhelm you as much as you imagined. Explore and reframe them with curiosity and delicacy, as if you were trying to understand yourself better. This reduces their power over you and helps you overcome old resistance strategies.
Use hypnosis to reprogram: Hypnosis gives you access to your subconscious, helping you heal old wounds and reconnect with these repressed emotions. It also allows you to establish new responses that are more aligned with your deep aspirations, as it facilitates learning.
In a nutshell,
What if procrastination, addictions, and other fears were actually signs that you aspire to be more yourself and carry out what could resemble your life project?
Being yourself means feeling aligned, grounded, and free to do what is right for you and call upon all your talents. It’s a demanding path but within your reach. Understanding that the aspiration to be oneself fully is behind your multiple strategies is already a huge step.
Becoming more who you are can start very simply by saying no, choosing daily according to your deep preferences, and sharing your honest opinion.
All these small acts bring you closer to your authenticity and put you on the path to a career and, more generally, a life path more aligned with your true self.
Do not let your resistance dictate your life. If it's time to transform them into stepping stones to reach your true potential. Book a free Leadership Clarity Call with me today, and together, let's explore how you can overcome your blockages and move toward the life you truly desire. Click here to access my agenda: https://calendly.com/annegrandjean/claritycall
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